October 25, 2013: Family and Fall

This week's shabbat thankfulness:

Mira, in full fall mode. Same outfit as summer, but with a hat. 

Ian: I'm thankful for my family.

Lucy (our neighbor and favorite 5 year old): I'm thankful for my family and my school and my teacher.

Mira: And your sister!

Lucy: No, I said my family.

Mira: For my family and shabbat.

Nora: For kids sharing and for the visitors Papa and I saw this week. And for the authors' tea at Ada's class.

Chris: That we got to see friends from afar and the nice fall weather.

Ian: For my two pumpkins!

We are also thankful that we got to see Chris's cousin and his wife this past weekend.

Old News...

I wrote the following in March 2012, got around to posting it in October 2013... 

On Sons

Or more specifically, my son. It feels a little like "all Ian, all the time" around the blog these days. He's verbal, he's funny, and he has such an energy that he's hard to ignore. Which brings me to a recent Saturday

We were at Chris' parents house, toward the end of the day. As it was already past 5, we decided to feed the kids before we left. As we cleaned up, the kids scattered for a few more moments of play. Normal stuff, until grandma Sally walked in holding three small (and empty) syringes.

"Ian was on the bed with these and said 'I'm sorry' when I found him." she said she thought that one of these had been filled before. With his grandfather's liquid morphine.

Frantic running. I went to the bed. I felt the blanket and finally took a breath when I found it wet.  Chris located Ian. I scooped him up and in my most calm happy voice asked if he'd emptied the syringe. He happily said he had.

"did you get it on the blanket?"

"yah."

"did you taste any?"

"no"

Okay, good.

Crisis averted, we calmed enough to remember that liquid morphine tastes bitter. Even if he'd tasted it he would be unlikely to want a whole dose. And the dose to which he had access is small to begin with.

Still. This is the kid who tried to climb a shelf last year, biting clean through a third of his tongue. The only one of the three who has been in the ER. The one who thinks a flying leap off the couch is an appropriate hello.

I'm not grey yet, but I think now may be the time to buy stock in Clairol.

Things to be Thankful for, Two Fridays in July

With family on the California coast, we were thankful for:

Chris: We got to splash in the ocean.

Ada: For the whole entire wide world.

Ian: The ocean.

Nora: Decorator crabs, family olympics, and getting to spend time with my family.

Anthony: That Minya and Bop originated this family reunion tradition.

Mira: Having a slumber party with my friend Avery.

Karen: For getting to have this cousin time.

Minya: For wonderful grandchildren.

Aviva: Bop!

Bop: The opportunity to have three generations of our family together, and for the cousins to get to know one another, and to get to eat Anthony's great food.

Chris: To see a part of California we have not seen before.

Ada: I got to see a real, live hammerhead shark.

Mira: To camp in a tent.


Back home, we had shabbat without guests this week.

Ian: I wish for babies. I'm thankful for unicorns and ponies and babies.

Ada: For everything.

Mira: Even the sky.

Chris: I got to spend to dad days with Ian and Mira.

Nora: Ada came home from camping.

The "All Things Considered" of Gratitude

The past two Novembers, Ada received an assignment at school to make a poster-sized picture of a tree. She was to cut leaves out of paper and use them to record the things for which she was thankful. It was a month-long assignment, meant to get her thinking about all the wonderful people and things in her life.

Last November Ian and Mira participated in the creation of the "Thankful Tree" along with Ada, Chris and myself. Ada wrote things like family and writing, while Mira offered "silence" and "peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" and Ian expressed gratitude for clouds and milk. I declared my appreciation for my husband and warm socks.

When we got together at Thanksgiving we got Chris' parents, sister-in-law, uncle and cousin to contribute leaves . It was a great thing to do, especially at a time when Chris' dad's health continued to decline and we all knew it was likely that this would be his last Thanksgiving.

Ada, showing some of the progress on the 2012 Thankful Tree

At the start of this year, Chris and I instituted a weekly observance of shabbat (Jewish sabbath) at our house. On Friday afternoons I pick up a loaf of challah on the way home, along with whatever groceries we need to round out our end-of-week supplies. We make dinner (and yes, occasionally get take-out), light the candles, mangle the Hebrew prayers and happily devour the challah while each saying what we've got to be happy about that week. Most weeks we invite friends over. Once I decided that the dinner could be low key (pesto with sausage, store roasted chicken, make your own burritos...) the barrier to inviting people over was removed and we reached out to close friends we do not see enough, neighbors we are always happy to see, and other people with whom we'd like to spend time as families. These families, mostly not Jewish nor religious at all, have participated in our observances and added to them as we talk about children, the news, jobs and the other stuff that fills our days.

A few weeks ago it occurred to me that I should be writing down the words of thanks, recording them in order to make more concrete our momentary appreciations. I bought a notebook in which to record the thoughts, but decided I would also like to record them here. We'll see how that goes, but I'll start today by sharing what people said the past couple of weeks.

One last thing. My family and I have so many things to be thankful for. Over the years I have joked about my charmed life, but in so many ways it is true. We are so lucky and have so much. My hope is not that any one week will let us express all the things we are happy about, but that over the weeks and years we will express so many things, that we will start to see the pieces together form the web of our lives. I think of it a little like the NPR program "All Things Considered" - no one show does address everything, but over time they report on so many things that the listener gets a view of the vastness of the universe. Never a complete picture, but an ongoing attempt to fill it all in.

** * ** * ** 

Now that we've been doing this for a while, one the kids usually spontaneously starts to talk. If no one does, I prompt them by asking: "what are you thankful for this week?" Here's what I have gotten recently:


APRIL 20, 2013
Mira: Mommy, Ada, Ian and Daddy.

Ian: My house.

Ada: My friends in the play.

Chris: That my students and colleagues are safe.

Nora: To have such a wonderful, loud family.


APRIL 26, 2013

This week Ada had been invited to spend the evening with our neighbor friends Lila and Lucy. The girls decided to join in the shabbat activity (most importantly to them, the eating of challah!) before they went down the street. Our sitter was still over, and Chris was not yet back from his department BBQ.

Ian: My family.

Mira: Mommy and Ada and Lucy and Lila.

Lila, age 7: Michelle.*

Ada: Lila, Lucy, Gabby, movie and ice cream.

Lucy, age 5: Ian and Mira and Gabby, and Lila and Ada and Mr. Kurt and Miss Marissa.** And Nora and Chris.

Ian (again): Ada and Mira and Gabby and Lila and Lucy and ice cream. And Mommy and Daddy and ice cream.

Ada (again): And Michelle.

Gabby: All my kiddos and sunshine and good health.

Nora: That I got to walk Ada and Lila to school today.


*Ada and Lila's teacher for the past two years.
**Lucy's teachers for the past three years.

I also continue to be thankful that I live in this wonderful city. 

And that my knees didn't fall off when I ran 11 miles today. 

Pirates Can't Swim

I got to have lunch with Ian in his class. He was holding his hands up around his eye to look at something across the room. I asked him about it and he put his hand over his eye and asked: What does this look like?

Me: A pirate!

Ian look pleased. 

He asked: What do pirates eat? 

I thought for a moment, then answered: Arrr-tichokes!

He shook his head no. 

Me: Let's see, pirates live on boats, so maybe they eat a lot of fish. 

Looking at the seaweed on his plate I added: And seaweed, I bet they like seaweed. 

Ian: How do they get the seaweed? 

Me: Well, they could pull it out of the ocean, or go out on the beach and get it there. 

Ian: But Pirates don't know how to swim. 

Me: Oh, they don't? Well, they need some swim lessons then, don't you think? 

Ian nodded. 

Me: Can you imagine a pirate in your swim lessons? It would be you, those two girls from your swim class, and a pirate!

Again Ian looked pleased. 

Me: Do you think the pirate would be scared to go in the water? 

Ian: No, because it is surrounded by walls. 

Me: Oh, so he could just go over to the edge of the pool? 

Ian: Yes. 

Me: Would you teach the pirate how to blow bubbles? 

Ian: Yes!

Heavenly

Back before Ian and Mira were born, someone gave us a CD of Led Zeppelin songs performed "lullaby style" (essentially, the songs are done in an annoying, twinkly way with no vocals).

Recently Ian has gotten interested in playing this CD, so it has come into the rotation of CDs they put in the player (along with a LOT of Yo Gabba Gabba and lesser amounts of Dan Zanes and Captain Bogg and Salty). This morning Ian said to Mira:

"I want to hear Stare Away from Heaven."

"I don't like Scare Away from Heaven," she replied.

Ian, exasperated, yelled: "Not Scare, STARE Away from Heaven!"

The Stupids Step Out

Mira, to me: Mama, Ian said I was stupid.

Me: Did you tell him you don’t like that?

Mira, returning to talk to Ian in the living room: Ian, I don’t like being stupid.

Loosey Goosey

Ada's tooth has been wiggling for over a month. Every day I think this will be the end, it HAS to fall out today. And every day I am wrong.

Tonight:

D List

 

After a run near my in-law's house

 

My sister bought this for Chris a few years ago

In the entrance of Whole Foods

 

I had meant to capture this during the Cs, but better late than never

A lovely woman has left us. Over the years, a daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother. As part of her extended family, I felt the glow of her love and acceptance. My little family will miss you, Lois, as will so many others.

September 18, 1917- March 11, 2012

What good is having a blog if you can't post about your successes?

On Thursday, Oregon's Governor Kitzhaber signed House Bill 4164 into law. Last summer the Legislature passed a bill authorizing Oregon's exchange to be built, but the legislation included a requirement that the Exchange team return in February to get approval for its Business Plan. We did that and both chambers voted overwhelmingly to pass the bill that accepted the plan and put the Exchange team fully on the road to opening our doors in October of next year. The Governor signed the bill in a formal ceremony that felt a bit like a family reunion, as among the politicians and key stakeholders were a couple of dozen people with whom I have worked for the past half-decade. It was great to be able to smile together and marvel that we have gotten so far. 

It was a good day.

There was cake, signed by the Governor no less!

Now C Here

What did I C?

 

  Sign, Nob Hill

  
 Ada's rendition of a drawing from Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed (Mo Willems) 

 
Detail of the vegetable list, and attempt to remember what we've 
gotten from our community supported agriculture farm 

 
This C was a table marker at a workshop

Stuff Ian* said a month ago that I wrote down so I wouldn't forget and them promptly forgot

Does this have silver raisins?

You know, snow comes from the sky. Roovers are near the sky. When it snows it lands on the roof.

I can't even really 'magine it's snowing! How can it be snowing again?

(and, in the context of cell phones ringing in people's pockets...): I want to hear the call of Ellen's butt.


*To me these all sound like Ian sayings, but since I didn't write that down I will never be sure.

Just Doing

Me, to Ian at bedtime: Okay Ian, time to lie down.

Ian: Guess what Mama? Poop!

Me: Do you have poop?

Ian: No, I was just doing guess what.

Bs Knees

Wow are the B titles I thought up corny. If you doubt me, consider that the one I chose was not actually the worst.

Some highlights of my two weeks on the B side:

From a child-free weekend with Chris, during which we did not actually go to Mr. Bing's. I snapped this on the way from the most amazing sushi to delicious old-fangled drinks.

I love this little blue car. I wish it was mine. 

Then again, it is so small I could probably pick it up and make off with it!

 

Chris wrote this on our kitchen calendar, I snapped it with my macro lens.

 

My all time favorite fortune cookie fortune; the only one I have held on to.

Now I know my A B Cs

Life continues to be too busy. One thing I am doing (besides wiping noses, recommending policy, occasionally cooking mediocre dinners and losing my voice) is taking pictures. I decided I wanted to take on a photo-a-day project this year. I loved doing it in 2010 and it seemed like time to try it again.

I considered a time-based theme, but I could not commit to a single time for a whole year (though I have loved looking at friends' sets). I considered moving through the day, taking photos at hour or half-hour increments, but I have a sense that I'd mess it up. It is awkward to interrupt a meeting in order to photograph it. 

Ultimately I chose to divide the year into twenty-six 2 week chunks, one for each letter of the alphabet. So far I have done A, B and C. This theme combines my love for signs and words with my sense that switching things up every two weeks will make it easier to stick it out the whole year. 

I am breaking radio (er, blog) silence to post some of the pictures for each letter. Here are some A photos: 

A11 is for the A key

   

A10 is for (stop) Animals

   

A7 is for All

   

A8 is for Apple

Almost, but not all the pictures are shot using my iPhone 4s. The camera is surprisingly good and I have it with me most of the time (unlike my slr). My main tools are the Camera+ and Instagram apps. Once in a while I use Hipstamatic, which I love, but is definitely more unpredictable. Chris got me some lenses for my phone, so some shots are taken with one of those. (the "All" picture used the macro lens, hence some of the fuzz around the edges.)

The whole set is here. At the end of the year there will be 26 sets in an Alphabet Collection on Flickr. 

Better Late (Thankful) than Never

I rolled back into work on Monday, straight into an meeting, followed by an hour conference call and then six and a half hours of a meeting with out of town collaborators. All that talk talk talk makes me thankful for the weekend just past.

I am also thankful for:

• family (mine and Chris's both) - I got so lucky to have all these people to whom I am related by birth or marriage that I liketo be around. Also, my children are more wonderful than insane, though they are certainly a healthy dose of the latter as well. I never get over how good it feels to have three little people come running in at the sound of the opened door, yelling "Mommy's home! YAY! Mommy's home!"
• work - I continue to have a fulfilling job with people I like doing something I care about. Oh, and I have some flexibility in my scheduling too. 
• home - my house is warm and cozy, with a fire often in the fireplace and good smells coming from the kitchen. I live on a fantastic block with thoughtful, generous, fun neighbors, most of whom are good cooks too. My city is easy to love; interesting and filled with cool little discoveries. Plus, it has lots of bridges. The state is beautiful and often progressive despite itself.
• friends - from my closest friends to people we are getting to know, I feel love and acceptance. Often people laugh at my jokes and praise my children. 
• health - My body has continued to let me run without complaining too much, which gives me the emotional and physical balance I have been needing. It even stops raining for long enough now and then to make runs reasonably pleasant. 

What more could I want? Oh right, holidays that remind me how lucky I am to have so much.

Place cards from Thanksgiving dinner, by Ada with help from her aunt and uncle 

The kids' table at Second Thanksgiving dinner this past weekend.

Unclear on the Concept

Mmm, cake.

Moments after we all walked into the house, Ian was on the couch, yelling:  "Strawberry mrrmmmrrm! I want strawberry mrrmmmrrm"

"What?" I asked, "what do you want?"

"I want strawberry mrrmmmrrm" repeated Ian.

"Is that something you can eat?"

"Strawberry mrrmmmrrm"

"Is it something you read? Something you watch? What is strawberry mrrmmmrrm?"

louder, more emphatically: "Strawberry mrrmmmrrm! Strawberry mrrmmmrrm! Strawberry mrrmmmrrm!"

"Is it something on television?"

"YES. Strawberry mrrmmmrrm!"

"Strawberry Shortcake?"

"Yes, I want Strawberry Shortcake!"

"Oh. We aren't watching television right now."

"I WANT STRAWBERRY TELEVISION CAKE!"

 

Does he look like a kid who doesn't get enough cake?

Miss Me?

A few months ago I had a great idea for a blog post on the theme: "if you have time to blog about work-life balance, you have some." I never wrote the post, which should tell you something about the state of my life. Things are going really well, but wow, the busy.

At 2 and a couple of months, Ian is starting to use the potty, with little or no prompting from his parents. Mira was the first to use the potty, but after one successful try she has figured out that the potty is more fun as a distraction tool. She likes to declare her desire to use the potty whenever she is faced with something she'd rather not do (get her diaper changed, put her pajamas on, eat breakfast...). Ian has been shockingly interested in non-diaper based elimination. Thrilling and thoroughly unexpected. Who says boys are harder to train? We are a while off from dumping diapers completely, but we are making some good progress without trying much. (Anyone who remembers what we went through with Ada will find this a big and pleasant change.)

When I am not working and marveling at Ian's willingness to use the potty, we have been having a good, if fairly mellow, summer. We went to our college reunion, Ada turned six, we celebrated 4th of July with family and I took a bunch of pictures on a work trip to Chicago.

 

Newish Chicago Icon

More recently we spent a week at the beach with my family. The weather was better than ever in the years I have been going to the Oregon coast. Amazing. Even better, Ada got over her fear of the water. She lead me repeatedly into the waves, much to Ian's horror. We heard "look out, the ocean! look out!" a lot from him. Mira, who pretty much refused to touch the sand last year was a lot more willing to play on the beach, so long as we didn't expect her to get near that scary water stuff.

Mira and Ada on the beach

Ada and I built a fairy house, which was very fun to do. In case this isn't in your repertoire, Ada offers the following public service announcement: Fairy houses must be built with all natural components; no artificial/human made items and nothing currently growing. So no picking flowers, but fallen leaves are fine. Or in our case, sea weed, shells, driftwood and dried sea grass.

 
fairy attractor, dune scaler, child who posed for 10 minutes 

but later declared she does not like her picture taken

 

we could have never left the porch and Mira would have still had a good time

 
proof that we had fun inside the house too: cherry juice stained boy

After a few days to recuperate and wash the sand out of our pants, we went to see Chris' family, including his 94 year old grandmother.

great grandma

We had a great time, despite the rigors of traveling with three kids. (Pro tip: take a third adult with you!)

How can you resist toddlers in tiny cars?

And lest I forget to tell you the exciting news: my sister and her husband have a book out! It looks like this:

The book is great - funny, interesting and compelling. Also, pictures! recipes! a comic! Really, I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me. Go buy it and read it now. This means you, Maggie.

Before the summer is over we have a few more tricks up our sleeves. Maybe I can commit to a post every couple of weeks, just to tap the mike. You may have forgotten me, but I miss you.