Loosey Goosey

Ada's tooth has been wiggling for over a month. Every day I think this will be the end, it HAS to fall out today. And every day I am wrong.

Tonight:

Time is like a river, or is that an ocean?

In honor of Ada's birthday, I offer one of the poems she wrote recently:

The Ocean

In the ocean the jellyfish is swimming.
The ducks are in danger because the shark is there.
The turtle is happy because the water is warm.
There is three happy sea stars in the water.

-Ada
May 2011

Naming Names

Because I can't have my one post in weeks be about vomit, here is one of my favorite books:

Names, By Ada

Abi Abi Abi

is nice

I love her

Maya Maya

is nice

I know her

Isabel Isabel

I love her

Wednesday Wednesday
I love her

Crea Crea

I like you

The (end)

This book is especially wonderful as it documents a fleeting moment in Ada's development. Throughout the year Ada's class has been learning to write books. They started with the idea that every book has a title and the author's name on the cover. They have talked about various elements of writing a book, and recently Ada reported that a book should have characters, a setting, a problem and a resolution. This book predated this set of ideas, but her newer books tend to have a clear problem and resolution. As exciting as it is to see her growth, I love the simplicity and honesty of the Names book

Smile

I enter her room, like I do every night, to turn off the light she insists stay on while she falls asleep. She is curled on her bed, the covers pushed down near her feet. As I grab the blanket to cover her back up, she turns and opening her eyes, smiles. Her smile is so broad, so genuine that I know she is seeing me, even in her sleep. After a moment I snap off the light and my beautiful daughter turns back to the window, returning to her dreams.

I lay in bed thinking about how much I love her, unable to sleep until I write this down.

Little Mama, Kitchen Edition

I think I may have mentioned before that when I was a kid my mother would sometimes say of herself, "I'm just a little mommy." It usually came up when she could not meet some demand as my sister and I wished (which is to say, immediately and perfectly). As an adult I understood that my mom was telling us that she was a real (and like everyone, imperfect) person and my sister and I should cut her some slack. 

I sometimes employ the "little mommy" moniker. Ada is too young to really understand what it means, but tonight we had the following conversation:

Ada: You are a little mama and Papa is a big papa.

Me: Oh yeah?

Ada: Yeah, that's because he is big and you are smaller than him. And you can't cook.

I'd argue with her, but then I might be expected to hold up my end of the cooking duties around here.

Here's your list

On Sunday night Ada decided she wanted to write a letter to Santa. Chris and I had not specifically suggested this, but neither had we discouraged it.

By the time Ada sat down to write her letter, I was frankly a little worried. What if she asked for things we have not planned on getting her? I have already done my shopping for her, Ian and Mira, and I was not prepared to have to make alterations or exchanges.

I should not have worried. Ada's list is more whimsical than practical:

Translation:

Dear Santa,
Here's your list:
I want a cat that talks.
I want a magic pen.
I want a making snowman kit.

I am thinking I might include a box with snowman making items (carrot nose, rocks for eyes, scarf, mittens and a hat). I can probably locate a glitter pen that we can declare is magic. I am less sure about how to help her with the talking cat, but one never knows what might happen!

another reason I am thankful that my children have so many clothes

About once a week I need to take Ian and Mira with me to pick up Ada from school. The most direct route requires climbing a flight of stairs on the way to Ada's classroom. If I want to take Ian and Mira inside in their stroller, I have to go around to the far side of the school, past the entrance nearest to Ada's classroom, and back down the hallways packed with elementary school kids trying to get out of the building. Have you ever seen salmon swimming upstream? It is a little like that, except that I am the salmon and the kids are the current.

To avoid the stroller-derby, I often bring a baby backpack along and, leaving the stroller at a bike rack, I transfer one kid to the pack and let the other walk with me up the stairs and down the hall to Ada's class. At first this worked fine, but now the kid in the pack gets annoyed that she or he is not the one granted freedom. (And frankly, the walker gets annoyed when I keep steering him or her away from all the fun things in Ada's classroom.) Getting the kids back into the stroller after we get Ada is also a problem.

The other day Mira lost the coin toss and was on my back while Ian got to roam. Mira complained the whole time I had her in the pack and both she and Ian were less than excited when I suggested they get back into the stroller for the walk home. Luckily, Ada decided she would like to walk with Mira.

The two girls took off down the block while Ian and I moved at a more leisurely pace. (He decided he needed to touch each pole we passed, yelling "pole!" and smiling broadly.) When we got to the end of the block, I had to negotiate two toddlers, the stroller and one "big" kid. Oh, and the actual corner was blocked off that day, as it was under construction to make it more accessible (workers were putting in a yellow rumble strip*). Ada had Mira's hand, while I held Ian's and pushed the stroller. Except that Ada didn't notice that the big pile of wet leaves next to the curb hid a fair sized puddle. Mira stepped off the curb and into the leafy puddle, falling over and soaking herself. Did I mention it was cold and rainy that day?

After our collective "oh crap" moment, Ada takes over the stroller while I hold Ian's hand and carry Mira football style across the street. Safe on the sidewalk I strip Mira of her pants, shoes and socks. She does not appear upset to be covered in icy, muddy water. Nor does she mind being stripped to her diaper on a cold and rainy street corner. What she does mind is being put back into the stroller. Crazy person that I am, I think she'll be warmer (and dare I think, happier) in the stroller, cozy in a fleece wrap.  Needless to say (but I will), she is NOT happy. She screams and stiffens. Meanwhile, Ian finds a stick and starts poking a puddle. Ada alerts me to Ian's entertainments, so I ask her to make sure he stays out of the street. I shove Mira into the stroller and ignore her wails while I strap her in. Looking up, I see Ada (on the sidewalk) watching Ian (in the street) happily standing in and poking a large puddle by the curb.

Alarmed, I ask Ada if I hadn't told her to keep him out of the street. "I couldn't stop him" she says. Not wanting to stop to argue, I scoop up Ian (muttering my "no street, no street" mantra) and strip off his soggy boots before shoving him in the stroller. Chaos contained (or at least limited to two wailing toddlers) we slowly make our way home, where we all change clothes and have warm snacks and drinks.

Ah, parenthood. All's well that end's well, right? This story comes to mind a lot in the weeks since it happened. I think of it especially when people sympathetically say things like "it must be so hard to be at work and missing your kids." I do miss them but I don't miss building more memories like this one.


* You really do learn something new every day. That stuff is called tactile paving, apparently.

Truer Words Were Never Written

I think she intended to make more comparisons between us, but got distracted.

Wait, Who's the Map?

Ada, while watching Dora, responded to seeing the talking Map discussing the three landmarks on the map of the day:

"How can the map be on the map?"

Good question.

Nosy

Weekend in the Woods

This past weekend Ada, Chris and I went to the woods with our pal Juniper. We were going to camp, but then it rained a lot (especially at night). We were staying near Juniper's dad's cabin, so we ditched our tent in favor of a little trailer her dad built (and lived in for a few years as a younger man).

It is a tiny bit longer than it is wide. Basically just big enough for the three of us to sleep on the bed platform, with a little extra space for our backpacks. It was super cozy and with the three of us was nice and warm, even as the rain pelted the roof. Plus, how can you not love a tiny wooden trailer with a wood stove and a dutch door?

Juniper's dad is a committed yoga practitioner, who has a whole set up in his cabin. This includes what looked to Ada like a swing.

She spent a lot of time swinging on the rope and generally acting like a circus performer. Good thing that J's dad is great with kids.

On Saturday Juniper, Chris, Ada and I went for a hike in the woods. Ada wasn't crazy about the first half of the hike (a lot of uphill) but did like the trail mix we'd brought and the beautiful setting. (If you were going to see a unicorn anywhere in Oregon, it would be in these woods.) At one point in the hike Ada and I found a tree with numerous fairy houses at its base. Ada decided to winterize the fairy houses by putting moss in the doorways.

Do other people's kids have a thing for fairies? Ada has no doubt that fairies live in the gaps at the bases of trees. She believes it so fervently that I have started to think it must be true.

While Ada was helping the fairies, Juniper found a nice big Chanterelle mushroom. We cooked it on Sunday to eat with our eggs. In addition to hiking and sleeping in (until 8:30! unheard of at our house) we ate s'mores, fed chipmunks and enjoyed the local natural hot springs. Unlike last time we took Ada to this place a couple of years ago, she got in and enjoyed the tubs. She also loved running from the tubs to a calm place by the river and jumping into the cold cold water before running back to the tub. Clearly this girl has some of her dad's Swedish blood.

Sorry, no photos of that. But really, no one needs to see photos of me sprinting from the river back to the warm tub, yelling all the way.

Ian and Mira stayed with their grandparents, who seem to have survived fine but who may not fully recover for a few months. Actually, Grandma and Bunka were great and Mira and Ian were happy to see us but not so happy that it wasn't clear that they'd had a great weekend with their grandparents.

Milk and Biscuits

It was a small moment, but I was so charmed by Ada this morning: 

Ada (holding plate of jam-slathered buttermilk biscuits): can I have some water to go with my biscuits?

Me: Are you sure you don't want some milk?

Ada: Which would be better with biscuits?

Me: Well...milk goes very well with biscuits and jam.

Ada: Okay!

ON ON ON

Ada recently put up these signs as a way of indicating that the babies should not enter her room. She does not seem bothered that the babies can not read or that the top sign was placed upside down.

Wardrobe Wednesday

Top to bottom:

• awesome enthusiastic and goofy grin
• shirt, which I painted on several years ago, not meant to be 3/4 sleeves
• tiered skirt I sewed at Ada's request (she chose the fabrics from my scrap pile - can't say I would have put the top one with the others, but it is her skirt). Looking at this photo is is clear I should have made the top tier a little less wide, but the pattern I loosely based this on had the top tier much wider than the others. Maybe on purpose? Is that the style?
• pajama pants worn as regular pants (and never as pajamas) 
• sparkly princess shoes, worn out at the toes and maybe a little small but still beloved

 (This wardrobe wednesday thing is a Kelly thing. The photo is not be up to her standard, but I imagine she and Violet can appreciate the fashion choices.)

Per Kelly's request, here is a shot of the dress I made with the two bottom fabrics I used for Ada's dress.

Birthday Treasure Hunt

When Chris was a kid, his parents created treasure hunts for birthdays. He fondly remembers these hunts, which ended with finding his birthday gifts, and wanted to do something similar for Ada. She is now old enough to enjoy this kind of game, but as she does not yet read Chris came up with the idea of photographic clues. I snapped a bunch of pictures and we printed them out and hid them around the house the night before her birthday. On Sunday morning I ran outside in my pajamas to hide the presents, and then we told Ada to look around the living room for something that looked out of place. We told her that when she found it she'd have her first clue in her treasure hunt. She quickly located this photo:

That led her to this:

 
which she identified as magnets on our (metal) back door and which led her to:

 

the shoe basket outside the front door, which took her to:

an old Ikea cd shelf (empty as a baby-proofing measure). This one was a little tricky, but eventually she figured it out and found this inside:

An even older Ikea box with finger holes. And on to:

...our refrigerator. Though she easily identified the fridge, finding the next photo inside proved somewhat difficult. It was too close to her face, in the door of the fridge.

Next was a plastic basket with art supplies in it. The photo inside took her to:

A baby toy, which led her to:

The recycling container. This one was pretty hard. We spent some time talking about things that were blue and plastic in our house. Eventually that led us to the recycling, which contained a picture of:

A drawer pull. This was a little tricky, because we've actually been keeping these drawers in the closet because Ian and Mira were pulling them out and we were a little afraid they'd hurt themselves when they eventually dropped on their feet. (We put the drawer back for the hunt.)

Inside the drawer was the last clue:

A photo from Ada's third birthday party. It features her playhouse, so we ran outside and she found her presents inside the little house. We took them back in, where she opened up some gifts from Chris and me, along with an amazing knit crown from our pal Stephanie. Ada wore the crown all day, but somehow I managed not to get a picture of her. For once I put the camera down and just enjoyed the day. I think the trade off was worth it.

Cake, From Planning Through Execution

You may remember that Ada had a plan for her cake. No? This is the plan:

On Saturday Ada and my mom baked the cake (white). While Ada was at a friend's birthday party, my mom made the frosting (white). On Sunday morning Ada and I mad the icing (green, red and yellow) and decorated the horn cones.

The so-so execution is mine, but the direction was all Ada's. She decided what colors, what icing tips, what designs to make on the cones.

Ada asked her pal Lila to blow out the candles, which she did (with a little help from Monkey Boy). The kids appeared to like the cake, and Ada was happy with the way it turned out. So, yay! (happy birthday to Ada!)

Friday afternoon at the grandparents' house

Negotiation (Birthday Edition)

Negotiation: Birthday Party Guests
A couple of months ago, Ada decided she only wanted one friend at her birthday party. Ada is completely in love with her friend Amelia, so it is not surprising that she'd make this declaration. And though it is a little surprising that she'd ask for a one-guest party, it is consistent with Ada's general discomfort with big social events. (One year she did not want to come out of our house for the block party, despite the fact that she'd been talking about the party nonstop for several days. It took her a good half hour to decide that the people she knew and liked individually were acceptable as a large-ish group.)

At first I was thrilled by the idea of a one-kid party. So much easier! So much less mess, organization, potential for someone to feel left out! But then Ada started getting invited to her good friends' birthdays (which somehow seem to be mostly in the spring and summer - maybe there is more to this astrology thing than I'd thought...). So, as any mother might, I started to think that we should invite Ada's other friends out of a reciprocal invitation obligation. Ada disagreed, but then I pulled out the big guns. If you only have one guest, you'll only get one present. Invite more people, and more presents follow. I kind of hated to say this, as the idea of making a birthday just about more! More! MORE! is gross, and a lot of people in our friendship circle explicitly discourage gifting for their kids' birthdays. But the argument worked, or at least Ada eventually relented and invitations were sent out to the seven kids Ada likes the best. Even better, two of them will be out of town, which brings us down to five guests. This feels completely manageable and is even more appealing because it conforms to my mother's birthday invite guideline: the number of guests = the age of the kid having the party (or maybe not equals, but is no more than the kid's age).

Negotiation: Cake 
Last year Ada decided she wanted a strawberry-raspberry-cherry cake. Ian and Mira had arrived the month before and our family energy-level for big baking projects was pretty low. Luckily Maggie sent us a recipe to use as a starting point and our good friend Stephanie make the cake for us. It was delicious (and oh-so-pink).

This year Ada asked for a unicorn cake. Thinking this meant something like this or this, I agreed. Unfortunately, Ada meant something more like this. We talked about it a bit and I tried to play up the idea of making a unicorn's horn out of sugar cone. She was taken enough with the idea that she agreed to put aside the 3D unicorn in exchange for a cake with multiple horns. In fact, Ada decided that instead of a unicorn cake she wanted an all-horn cake. We even sketched it out:

At least one horn per guest, maybe more. 

Negotiation: Presents
I asked Ada what she would like for her birthday. She thought for a moment before coming up with "a baby cradle." We talk about; I mention that she already has a doll bed. She counters that it doesn't rock. I mention that she doesn't really play with dolls a lot right now. She insists that she really wants a cradle.

We talk about it a couple more times, without any change in our respective positions. And then, after watching an episode of Angelina Ballerina, and says she would like ballet shoes and a dance dress. Green, like the character Alice wears.

"So, would you like this enough to trade the doll cradle?"

"Yes, I really want the ballet clothes."

Sold!

Of course, it took me a few hours before I realized that Ada probably wanted toe shoes. I brought this up with her, saying that toe shoes are only for kids who have studied dance for years and years. She dissolved into tears. The issue was unresolved when Ada went to bed, but in searching the web for dance clothes, I realized that Alice doesn't wear toe shoes! Hopefully this will solve the problem, and the stuff I ordered will be well received.

They cry. They grow.

Ada's preschool teachers asked all the children a question each month and recorded their answers. The responses are included in the children's portfolios, folders that also contain drawings, project notes and other highlights from the year.  Reading through the answers, I was so charmed by the variety of answers. Here are my favorite responses to some of the monthly questions:

What will you do for Thanksgiving?

L: I love my teachers.
S: I think I'm gonna make birthday cakes and my Grandma is gonna come over for a sleepover and I think Jack and Owen and James are gonna have a sleepover and you can come too, but my mom has a very tall bed so I think you should sleep in it because my bed is just big enough for me and Charlotte and Evelyn.
L: I don't know yet. I think we're gonna go over to my Papa's house and have a little malt-o-meal, we might do that.

What do you know about babies?

A: That they love to do dangerous things like play with electricity.
J: I know 2 things about babies: they have umbilical cords and they also like to swallow marbles.
M: My baby was sleeping on mine head.
M: They cry.
L: They grow.

What was your favorite gift you gave? 

E: I had a cardboard picture to give to Grandma but I missed out because I didn't do that.
Ada: I made a present for Lila. I gave her some of my toys.
S: I gave my mom's mom some pictures in a box and we wrapped it up in wrapping paper to make it look pretty - of Christmas trees. The only picture I can remember is of a smiling robot.

What was your favorite gift you received?

F: I got a tape dispenser and I got a wind-up truck with no body, just wheels and a mouth and a fin sticking up. And I got something that you fold inside out, you drop down and it comes outside in, but you have to fold it inside out first.
L: I got Belle princess and Barbie and I got this princess that puts her legs in the air.
Ada: I got two favorite presents, a pirate ship and a bike with training wheels.

What is something that makes you feel afraid?

A: Lions.
A: Chickens.
Ada: Being lost.
A: Black widows and dinosaurs, giant dinosaurs that are bigger than the whole world.
D: Big shadows, I mean trees.
S: When all of these people, my friends, said they would put me in the hole we dug and they would dig it really deep and there would be hot lava.
S: I'm afraid of T-Rex...um, and glass, cause if it breaks you get your foot cut, that's why I'm scared.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

D: A baker.
J: I don't know. I think the thing I would do best would be police. It sounds fun.
A: I'm gonna be a daddy when I grow up. I also want to be a guy that races in a race car on a race track and I want the number on the car to be 200.
A: I want to be nothing. I will just play.
Ada: A mermaid.
M: A butterfly.
F: A paleontologist.
C: I want to take care of my neighbor's dog.
L: A gummy person that eats all the gum.

What's your favorite kind of pie?

B: Raspberry, pear, strawberry pie.
L: Futon pie. It has nuts in it.
L: Strawberry shortcake.
J: My mom and dad don't know any recipes for pies and I've never had pie.
A: I don't have a favorite. I think it will be strawberry.

What signs of spring do you see in the world?
  
M: If spring is coming it will be pink and purple with butterflies.
A: I saw pink blossoms when I was going to swim lessons and I have a little pink plant.
M: When I wake up from wake up time and it feels like spring, I smell popsicles.

What is your favorite thing about the Earth?

J: Cause all my friends are on Earth.
A: That I can see stars.
L: I love the tomatoes on Earth.
M: That I want to go in rockets.
L: That there can be different weather in each state.
Ada: My mom gets to have babies.

Not Like the First Time

Ada was, and remains, a parent-focused kid. She was one of those babies who is happiest sitting in her mother's lap. And despite the fact that she has always been a strong-willed person, as a baby she was also pretty happy to listen to us. Mom says don't got up the stairs? Okay. Dad says don't pull down the books? Sure. She was just not a destroyer and did not feel the need to investigate every nook and cranny of our house.

Unlike Ada, Ian wants into everything and is not happy to be redirected or diverted from his investigations. Until we got a gate, he spent a solid week trying to get up the stairs (over and over and over again). Even now he often stands at the bottom of the stairs shaking the gate, venting his frustration with its existence. He has lately been interested in getting to the built-in window bench in our living room. We have tried to keep him away, as the bench has a printer on it, along with Chris' lap top and a mess of cords. Today while I was at work Ian spent considerable effort to get to the bench, finally figuring out how to move the ottoman out of the way. In response, Chris wedged the ottoman between the couch and the coffee table. Undeterred, Ian skirted the ottoman by climbing up onto the couch. Chris relented, and after moving the computer let Ian get to his goal. Chris reported that Ian just stood there looking thrilled, and eventually moved on.

So maybe that is lesson number one for us with Ian. If we let him go where he wants to go, he'll be satisfied and then move on. Unfortunately the same can not be said for Mira, who followed her brother to the built in and immediately began banging on the printer.