Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Ada has been asking about death.

For a while she has wanted to know when we will die. (I generally reply, "not for a very long time.") This week she asked what death feels like. Before I could say anything, Chris said he thought it might be like sleeping. This made me a little nervous, since it occurred to me that this could cause Ada to worry about going to sleep, which is not what we want right now. Luckily, she didn't seem too concerned about that. Instead she asked: "What does it feel like when you die? Does someone erase you?"

I guess that's one way to go.

hole in the ground
She looked so happy, I didn't mention the part about being buried in the ground.


  1. Wow. That's really hard, but I think your answers are the best possible. What do you say when she asks, "Where do we go when we die?"

  2. Henry has occasionally been obsessed with these questions. He does focus on the being buried in the ground (there is a cemetery up the street) and when each person he knows including himself will die. It's a tough one. He's now at the point when "a long time" won't do anymore so I try to answer honestly (like my mom will probably die in 30 years- if we are lucky). I feel really morbid but 30 years is like a lifetime to a 5-year-old so it seems okay.

  3. It must be a Four thing. My son spent half of yesterday planning a party for Abraham Lincoln. "Because he died." ?!?

  4. Ezra has been curious about death from a very early age. His most recent concerns include the year 2012 and global warming. (he's 9 and we don't even watch TV!)

    It's hard to come up with the right things to say sometimes, but it sounds like you guys handled it well.

  5. perhaps it's good you skipped the cremation option, too (although that, actually, is a little like being erased, I suppose).

  6. I agree with mayberry that it's a 4 thing...at least that's when it started with Builder Boy. Sometimes, the intensity of his questioning freaks me out. Does he know something I don't? Especially since our house is 130 years old.

    I have to say, though, that I was so excited to see the post's title...I loved Erasure!! (the band, that is...)

  7. Oh that's a tough one. I'll have to think about that one awhile.
    That can be a frightening question for a kid.

  8. Sometimes I am quite uneasy about the ease with which N. has 'worked out' death. She seems quite satisfied with the consumption of the corporeal and being. After a few months she floored us with ...

    "when I grow up... you and daddy will be dead... oh yes and how old will you be? 10???? !!!"