Wednesday, June 10, 2009

things I am learning (after 2 weeks with twins)

My very best thoughts and observations are lost, as I think them while nursing or falling asleep, and then can not reconstruct them later when near paper or the computer. Of course, this may be like the thoughts people have while stoned: seemingly brilliant but actually completely mundane, incomprehensible or some combination of the two. 

There are a lot more twins out there than you'd think. Having twins attracts everyone's twin stories, and I now know that Portland is lousy with twins. Fraternal girl twins sat across from us at the lab, the flower delivery guy's wife is a twin, our doctor's nurse had twins and an older daughter...

I look really tired. Even when I feel pretty good I look like shit. I generally do not notice because I am not looking in the mirror a lot these days, but when I do, wow, is it that obvious? Yes, it is.

Why do people feel the need to ask if we are getting sleep? I know it comes from a place of love and concern, but it just feels mean. Of COURSE we are not getting anywhere near enough sleep. Did I mention we have two week old twins living with us?

Mira is way louder than Ian. She is a big snorter, which is charming in a porcine way. Also, she is so far the "dominant" twin in terms of setting the schedule, as she wakes up first, gets fed first and takes a bit more to get back to sleep. We'll see if this pattern holds up over time. 

hey, wake up
Yeah, Mira is also the one already poking her sibling in the head. Luckily she has about zero arm strength. (As I type this it seems like the kind of thing Lumpyhead's Mom would write.)

I love my children's doctor. She declared that whatever we wanted to do about feeding the babies would be good as long as it worked for us. Breast, pumping milk for bottles, formula: whatever works for us. Thank you, doc. (Especially after the interaction I had with the lactation consultant, who - on the day I was first engorged - poked me repeatedly in the breast while telling me "the babies aren't going to be able to get milk out of these (jab) hard (jab) breasts (jab jab)." Um, thanks. Because as a sleepless mother of jaundiced twins four days post-partum, I was not already quite hysterical enough.

I can't remember if I mentioned this, but both Ian and Mira were jaundiced at birth, and Ian (deemed at greater risk because of the big bruise on his head, the result of the suction that helped him on his way out of me) was on a biliblanket for the first week. That was annoying, because it tethered him (and us) to the short leash of the blanket. And he glowed blue, which at least had the side benefit of helping Ada figure out which baby was which. At their 2 week check up, the kids were deemed healthy. Both have surpassed their birth weights - Mira is 7lb 4oz and Ian is 7lb 10oz. (Another reason to love their doctor: she is not worried that they are on the low end of the curve weight-wise, recognizing that when you have a bell curve SOMEONE has to be on the low end, and as long as they are healthy - gaining weight, responsive, charming - things are fine.)

My "to do" list grows ever longer, as I can reliably do one thing a day, but I can think of 3 or 4 things to add to the list each day. So far I have successfully not be stressed out about this. Most of the things can (and do) wait. A few things can not, like filling out the paperwork for school or setting up online bill payment for our new credit union. Chris and I move slowly, as if we were walking and thinking in molassas. I am so glad that we have very few places we need to go and little that must be done. Except maybe think of a few birthday gifts for Ada, who will turn 4 at the end of the month. Luckily she keeps reminding us of her pending birthday, so we have no question about who to invite or what kind of cake we should make (the latter is emphatically a strawberry/raspberry/cherry cake).

We are a little behind in dumping pictures from the cameras onto the computer, so this one is from a week ago or more. Not that I am apologizing, just noticing that they already look different from this.
Ian is in pink, Mira in stripes 
Ian is in the pink blanket, Mira has the stripes


  1. They are beautiful.

    (And I'm so flattered you thought of me. When can you start balancing things on their heads?)

  2. ok this is too much cuteness!

  3. If only you had a friend who really loved baking and would be happy to make Ada that strawberry/cherry/rasberry cake....

  4. But are you getting enough sleep?!


    Great pictures of some very adorable kids. Snuggle close . . .

  5. They are so beautiful, and I'm glad that you and your support networks are keeping calm and not overburdening you with "shoulds."

  6. they are so beautiful! and I'm glad to hear you have a good doc that's not bugging you about what you "should" be doing.

    strawberry/raspberry/cherry cake is also my favorite. good thing it's berry season!

  7. But wait...where are the hat pictures?
    Can't wait to see the pictures of Ada holding the twins. Ya gotta have those!

    But are you getting any sleep?
    [hiding behind thecheekofgod]

  8. They are gorgeous ... Love how Mira is snuggling up against her brother in the 2nd photo!

  9. They are just so beautiful! Makes me miss that tiny baby stage. You seem very sane - glad you are holding up well.

    Laurie (Traci's friend)

  10. Sweet babies.

    Here is the strawberry cake of Ada's dreams:

    Enlist a local friend to make it (since I live too far away). It's awesome. Really.

  11. You are still witty and amazing despite lack of sleep and baby brain fugue. They are beautiful. Thinking of you and yours.

  12. Honey I hope you are eating. (and using formula as necessary) I wish with all my heart to bring you strawberry shortcake, salmon sandwiches and pot roast. Don't worry about writing us.

    We love you. And can only imagine the STRAIN. The long neck of rocking and lifting and loving and picturing the five of you, mothering it to reality.

    The beautiful jumble of YOU FIVE, can you believe it???... in this madness of the fourth trimester. We love you. Eat. Take do what you need, indeed!

    They are the most beautiful babies I have every inordinately loved through the screen of this computer, and more. Thanks for writing.

    My last word(s): You have no commitments. Shop not. Seek tending. Be there with them. You are the best mama.

  13. They are exquisite. Perfect.

  14. I can't believe you're writing in a straight line, let alone so well, under the Tunguska (sp?) like impact of all this! Though if memory serves me well, it all seems weirdly normal that everything should be as it is at this time. Just how gorgeous are they?!

  15. Oh, man. Those are some seriously adorable babies.

  16. I cannot even explain how much these pictures are giving me flashbacks.