Monday, August 21, 2006

Swag this

I put Ada to bed and came downstairs to find Chris watching football. The final 10 minutes of a pre-season football game holds pretty much zero appeal to me, so I wandered out to start dinner. When I wandered back in, the end of "60 Minutes" was on. Andy Rooney was bitching about getting swag. People, Rooney's viewers I am assuming, send him stuff. And according to him, it's crap. He showed off an array of caps, shirts, books and paintings of his likeness that he'd been sent, complaining away about all of it. I know that complaining is pretty much what Andy Rooney does, but doesn't it seem like a bad strategy to bitch about the stuff you get from your viewers? Especially when the complaints are not just about the item as an item ("I never wear t-shirts") but also about the organizations and ideas expressed by the hats, shirts or books. On the rare occasions when I watch "60 Minutes," I have always found Andy Rooney to be grating and painfully un-entertaining. But here he seemed purposefully mean.

Maybe I'm just bitter because no one is paying me to be rude, insulting and annoying on television. (They should. I may be no Natalie Portman, but I'm a damn sight prettier than Andy Rooney.) Even when swag-collecting bloggers get something they aren't crazy about, at least they have the decency to be funny about it (or turn it into a contest prize). I'm into polite, but I figure if that is not possible, people should at least be funny.

I recognize that this post has veered into Andy Rooney-esque complaint essay territory. But to show that I'm no kin to that tired out old ass-clown, let me just say: anyone who wants to send me things, I promise not to insult them. Even if you send an oil painting of Andy Rooney wearing a bathrobe and union cap.


  1. nonlinearpapa8/21/2006 10:06 AM

    For the record: I don't normally watch 60 Minutes and the last time I found Andy Rooney's schtick to be even remotely amusing I was probably in the 8th grade. N. just walked into the room at the wrong moment as I was flipping channels.

  2. Your manhood and good taste are intact. To review - Rockstar: Supernova? Yes. 60 Minutes? No.

  3. i saw that too. and thought the same thing! andy rooney used to be funny. clever. he used to have something to say. now it seems they're just keeping him on out of obligation.
    he has turned into a callous old fart - unappreciative of his good fortune, obviously.
    maybe we should let the network know he's rude, boring, and out of touch. let's see what reaction that prompts. hey! that's how we can get on tv!

  4. Every time I watch 60 minutes, I'm simply amazed that Andy Rooney is still on there. He's like that curmudgeonly uncle who blabs nonsense all day long at the family picnic and you just want to smack him in the head with a frying pan. Then, he ends up getting drunk and making racist comments, revealing himself to be the a-hole that you always assumed he was.

    Sorry for the rant. I jsut hate Andy Rooney.

  5. You had me at tierd old assclown. Brilliant! My husb. walks around all the time mocking him in an irritating high voice spouting off "Have you ever wondered why.."