Can't Be Pacified, Won't Be Pacified

Ada is sick again. I blame Monkey-boy, who was here last Friday and had a snot-festival at the time. Whatever the cause, Ada's got it now, on top of teething. She really has been a trooper. Despite only sleeping 30 minutes today, she's been perky and happy. She can breathe alright when sitting up, but lying down brings on full nose-plugged horror. This is where the problem lies; she is used to going to sleep with a pacifier. Currently she needs her mouth for breathing and has decided that breathing is better than sucking. (Somehow she manages to do both when nursing. Can someone explain why my breast works with a cold, but the pacifier does not?)

I got her to sleep ok, but within a half hour she'd woken up and I could not get her pacified, either literally or figuratively. When I went into her room, I found that she'd somehow gotten her pacifier into the bottom of her baby sleeping bag Letting that remain a mystery, I plungered her nose, gave her tylenol for the teeth, nursed her and when she got droopy I tried to lay her in bed. She spat out the pacifier and proceeded to scream as if I was jabbing her with sharp sticks. (I wasn't.) This is when I decided that Ada learning to sleep without a pacifier might be a good idea. Having run out of other ways to help my daughter, I went downstairs hoping she'd exhaust herself quickly and fall asleep. Ha! After listening to her cry for 20 minutes, Chris and I gave up on the tough love. Chris is up there with her now.

I feel so guilty that I am sitting next to the monitor, through which I can hear her wailing. It isn't enough to be sitting in the room under her bed, which lets me hear her cry without the monitor. No, I have to punish myself by broadcasting the noise direct to my ears and heart.

It is going to be a long, long night.