Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Flip Side

After my last (mopey) post about the losses associated with having twins (or really, children generally) I want you to know that it is not all soggy Eyore-mimicry around here.

This weekend I got into a conversation with a woman at the park, and through a circuitous route ended up telling her I was pregnant with twins. "I'm a twin!" she said, telling me how close she is to her (male) twin and how great childhood was with him and their older sister (who was born a mere 18 months before this woman and her brother). It was one of those weird conversations that turns from the mundane (she complimented my purse, we talked about sewing) to personal (fertility, pregnancy) while not feeling awkward. In fact, afterwards I wanted to kick myself that I did not ask for her phone number. Our daughters are the same age and it is kind of rare that I randomly meet someone with whom I immediately feel so at ease.

Later this week during the break at a meeting for work, a woman I know only a little came up to me and asked if the rumors were true. I sheepishly said yes, I was pregnant with twins, and she proceeded to very effusively tell me what a warm spot she has in her heart for other mothers of twins. She has twins, now in college, and said it was a great experience. This woman's twins were her 3rd and 4th, and she said that after the first two years it was significantly easier to have two than one. (Pretty much everyone seems to acknowledge that the first couple of years are chaotic and insane.) She was so positive about the whole thing, and it left me feeling very hopeful in a way I have not been feeling the past couple of weeks.

I don't believe that the universe sends you what you need or anything like that, but once in a while you do get to hear something that helps. This past week I heard it twice.


  1. I liked that last post. We know all that well.

    It must be scary.

    And, we went to the sushi place tonight that we missed with you guys. It was gooooooood. p-man knows so much more than I expect, really.

  2. So I guess you don't need the Chicago pizza after all?

  3. We've got friends with twins (favourite memory of her pregnancy "Oh it's not twins." (smugly) "I'd know." HA HA HA ! Anyway...) They found the first few years very tough but since then, the twins have formed such a powerful mutual support system for each other.

  4. perhaps now would be a good time to revise your thinking about the universe.


    love ya! looking forward to seeing you soon.

  5. You're strong with good support. It'll be okay.

  6. I also liked your last post. In fact, if it is ok with you I'd like to link to it in my next post. I think I'm finally getting my energy back so I can start posting more often.

    It's so nice to hear those stories. It makes me feel better too.

  7. Glad you're feeling just a bit better about the whole thing. I'm sending happy thoughts that you'll cross paths with that woman in the park again . . .

  8. I would have to say that the universe sent you exactly what you needed! : ) Then again, that belief helps me through most every day. I hope you really are feeling better!

  9. At our house, my pep talks have often been, "More tigger, less eeyore!" from my husband.

    It's amazing how good the better days are, isn't it. Wishing you more to come.

    this belongs in the comments of your last post but I am lazy:

    I love Portland. So I will totally come and hold a baby and we could talk about the Internet and call it West Coast BlogHer. (Or something more clever than that.)