Monday, October 06, 2008

I Had All These Plans

In the past two weeks, I considered and re-considered what I would write about today.  I have a print out of the three embryos, seconds after they were returned to me.  (My doctor was so proud of how well they showed up that he gave us a copy to keep.  Commemorative, if there ended up being something to commemorate. I thought I might scan the image and post it here, with the circles and arrow and exclamation points.

I thought about the metaphors I could use, the words I could write.  Two Thursdays ago I started to be convinced I was pregnant. Thursday evening I had an intense and prolonged hot flash.  Foolishly, I googled "implantation hot flash" and found hundreds of women who described having experienced such an event.  But really, google any combination of words and you'll get something you want or fear to see.

A few days later, rational thought returned and I was not sure whether I would be pregnant or not. By the weekend I was positive I wasn't pregnant. Two days of spotting and I was sure how this would end. I knew my body was primed for a menstrual cycle, but I would have to wait until Monday to be told to stop the projesterone, so that my body could resume its regular workings.

All this is to say that I am not psychic. As much as I would have liked to, I had no real information about my status.  Until 12:30, when I called my voicemail to get a message from Jill. "I've got good news" she said.

I had all these plans about how I would write about this, and how would deal with another failed cycle. But plans change, and I am happy to report that instead of dealing with loss, I am dazedly counting forward to another summer birth. 

28 comments:

  1. WOO! Again, the best news that could have come in today! :) Yay!

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  2. Great News!
    Happy news
    Super Super Super news
    Best News

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  3. I'm teary...happy tears this time my dear!
    xo

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  4. Still crying. Cried when I told John, cried when I told my mom. Cried when I told Milo (who was like, "Can I get this rubber coaster in my mouth?")

    We are beyond happy for you. Well beyond.

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  5. So happy for you. Continued good luck.

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  6. I have goosebumps, the hair is standing up on the back of my neck and I have tears in my eyes. Mazel Tov! I am so happy to hear some good news tonight!

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  7. that is wonderful, wonderful news.

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  8. Fabulous! Stupendous! What wonderful news! Lots of Love and Good Wishes! (and lots of exclamation marks!)

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  9. Oh oh OH! That is fantastic! All good wishes.

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  10. I clicked today; not wanting to invade privacy. Bless our firewall you have now been blocked, likely for all the racey content. don't put bottom in there if you think someone need's to read it from the school board.

    All this cycle.. I've asked hey why not?? Why not her?? Could happen.

    So happy. SO happy. SO HAPPY.

    take care. take it easy. love after love to you all.

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  11. What wonderful, wonderful news! I'm so happy for all three of you!!!

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  12. OMG! Yay! Yay! Yay! Happy dance commences!

    I am so so so ecstatic for you!

    YAY!

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  13. That's best thing I've heard in a long time! I'm so happy to read this. I have shivers from being excited for you and your growing family!

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  14. I'm teary too, it must be the pregnancy hormones! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you. Have you figured out your due date yet? I'm due on June 1st, if all goes well, first ultrasound is Friday.

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  15. I thought I was psychic about it too, I was telling Justin I had a good feeling about this one. Congratulations!

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  16. Woo hoo! Excellent news!

    *big grin*

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  17. I'm teary with no pregnancy hormones. This is awesome news. But, maybe I'm just an implementation news newbie, but your post reads like you have three embryos. Can't. be. true. Too. freaky. Please explain!

    love to you and yours.

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  18. WAY TO GO EMBRYOS!!!!! God has truly blessed you and your family and may you continue to grow those babies into healthy beautiful children. After going through what you have gone through myself, I can live vicariously through you and experience a pregnancy. Congrats to all of you!

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  19. Thanks for sharing the happy news and your internal process all along. I'm looking forward to more updates. Although it seems sort of the like the end of a story I've been following, it really a new beginning.

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  20. So glad to read this news! Yay you!

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  21. I think you should buy Destroyer's new album to celebrate.

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  22. Oh!


    Wow!

    (speechless/happy)

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  23. What wonderful news. It's nice to know that good things can still happen.

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  24. Such wonderful news!! I can't believe I missed this before!!

    Congrats to you and your family, I am so happy for you!

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  25. Oh, honey. I am almost crying I am so happy for you. And twins, holy shit, that's amazing and terrifying and awesome. Just when you had almost given up, you've been sounding so resigned - and now this. I couldn't be happier for you and I hope your pregnancy is safe and normal and utterly uneventful.

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