Thursday, June 05, 2008

Pee, Pee, Pee, You Belong To Me, Me, Me

7 am
I get up with Ada and immediately take off her diaper. It is DRY, despite the fact that we woke Ada up at 10pm the previous night to take her home from Susie's house.

I suggest potty time, Ada declines.

7:45 - 8:30 am
Ada bounces, dances and generally acts like she has to pee, but refuses to admit it or sit on the potty. She starts to pee while sitting on the couch, so I carry her to the potty in the dining room. While I am getting fabric cleaner for the cushion, Ada floods the dining room (and basement). Chris and I clean it up, while letting Ada know that (a) we are not upset, and (b) the potty would be a better target than the floor.

This is pretty much how our day went. Each attempt to get Ada to sit on the potty are met with: (a) refusals; (b) screaming; (c) tantrums; or (d) a - c, all at once.

1:30 pm
At nap time, Chris tells me that if Ada doesn't start peeing on the potty by Sunday, we should abandon this effort and try again in a couple of months. This surprises me, as I was counting on his support over the next week. I argue that if we go back to diapers we stand to lose a lot. Ada will know that stonewalling and tantrums will get her whatever she wants. Plus, if she is afraid of the potty now, won't more time just make it loom larger?

1:45 pm
I head off to do errands and call Ellen and then Karen from Target. Both support my position, which kind of doesn't help, because after talking to them I am dug in and pissed off at Chris.

3:30 pm
Ada wakes up with dry underpants.

3:30-5:30 pm
Ada roams the neighborhood with Chris. She wears no underwear (or pants, for that matter) but has no accidents. I am starting to worry about her bladder, even as I marvel at its capacity.

Not at our house, apparently

5:30 pm
The three of us head inside for dinner, which sends Ada into a tantrum. (Something about a new friend and watermelon) After a time out, Ada says she does not want dinner. After a bath, a revived Ada agrees to eat.

6:45 pm
In a a hail mary play, I tell Ada she can have chocolate for sitting on the potty while I read her a book. No actual pee needs to come out. She demures. Even more desperate, Chris says he will give her a chocolate before she sits on the potty, plus another after she sits down. Ada takes the first candy, sits for 2 seconds a rolls off into my lap. I glare at Chris for his inability to see that coming. (Yes, I am a jerk. Sue me.)

7:30 pm
After Ada is in bed, I exercise, yet fail to release any of my annoyance at Chris. Childish, but who am I going to be mad at, Ada? I half decide not to talk to him, even though I know this is futile. Chris could win a silence contest with a mute, and giving the silent treatment to someone who does not even notice is bound to be self-destructive. Hungry, I head downstairs to drown my sorrows in take out pad see ew.

This is probably the low point. Things get better, at least a little, tomorrow.


  1. It feels wrong to laugh... but it is a commiserative, dry sort of laughter. No pun intended.

    I am ever so afraid of the poop that is coming in installment 3, though.

  2. Oh, I remember those days. Good luck.

    And mine recently got to the toilet late and peed all over the bathroom floor - which then dribbled into the basement. How can that be? I'm glad to know that we're not the only house where pee on one floor ends up on another.

    PS - I tagged you. You're welcome.

  3. Hang in. I have two sons--one 17 and one 13. It is a miracle they no longer pee in their pants.

    I will pass on what another older mom told me once. I can assure you that Ada will not wear diapers to college. Funny but true.

    In a house with three men, I am just happy they miss the floor.

  4. I was really stressed out about potty training, but ended up using the T. Berry Brazelton method which as I recall was do nothing.

    Castor oil is a remedy friends resorted to when their daughter wouldn't poop. It was quite traumatic to the parents. The girl, now 13, seems unscarred.

    It is smart of you to notice how these parenting stresses affect your behavior toward your beloved husband, because these types of things can be relationship killers.

    I'm getting a divorce in large party because my husband implied or explicity stated that I'm a bad mother too many times.

    I think it is the downside to the childcentric parenting of this new century.

  5. Another piece of unsolicited advice--I thought that it was my job to make my son do a lot of things that I was afraid that he wasn't going to do. This resulted in a string of power struggles.

    When I change my attitude toward him and see myself as a guide (someone who just explains what a potty is for and the fact that eventually babies and little kids stop using diapers) rather than a boss or enforcer (who's own job performance will be measured by the subject's quick and successful achievement of the goal) everything works out better. (Not that I'm able to do it very often.)

  6. Hey needle... that is what my parents tell me. Apparently I trained in a weekend because we toured a preschool and my mom said they only let in kids who are potty trained.

    altaego - sorry to hear your news. I think you are right that parents should be guides. Living that day to day is harder!

  7. we've been potty-training Jack since, what, two years ago?, and, yeah.

    still. LOTS of accidents and misses and near-misses and OY.

    oy. oy oy oy oy.


  8. (although, okay, yes, officially, we've only been actively training since last fall, but it feels longer, b/c of the regular use of the toilet for so long beyond that.)

    (and I am TIRED. tired.)


  9. all of this and you are still steps (actually miles) ahead of us! does that make you feel better? it really, really should.

  10. Oh, I love this book! I thought about giving this to my sister-in-law for her kids, but I wasn't sure about their humor level.... ;)