Open Letter to My Body

Dear Body,

I know we haven't been on the best terms lately. I am big enough to admit that this is mostly my fault, though I hope you'll see your part in this whole thing. Yes, over the past few months, I have not been as gentle as you'd have liked. In what you might call a selfish attempt to get pregnant, I jabbed you with needles and swelled our ovaries with all those hormones. And yeah, you bore the brunt when the doctor took out those eggs and three days later put them back. Your distaste at the hormone injections was clear; the cramping and sharp stabbing gas made that pretty evident. The lumps in the buttocks were a nice touch, a subtle reminder that progesterone shots might not be your favorite part of our daily routine.

I have tried to make amends. The walks, the chocolate, the naps. I had hoped those would make up, at least a little, for what I have put you through. I hoped you would see that we were in this together, and help those embryos take hold inside you. I don't hold it against you that there was no pregnancy. I know no one has to do anything "wrong" for IVF to fail.

The thing is, I am coming to you to ask for help. I am trying again. No, I am not looking forward to the hormones and the stress, but I do want to get pregnant. You did such a good job with the pregnancy last time, I was hoping that you'd be willing to try it again. Just once more. I know it will be hard on you, what with the uterus stretching and increased pressure on the knees. But the labor was short last time, I gave you that, right? Help me with this and I promise not to complain about my hips shifting, or breasts growing then shrinking, or the waddle in my walk that I may never get over. I'll keep you moisturized, and maybe even get a manicure once in a while. What do you say?

Here's to a productive partnership,

Nora


This letter was inspired by Blogher's "A Letter to My Body" series.