One week down, one more to go of exquisite torture of being between implantation and any knowledge about the outcome. A lot of people are asking me how I am doing, how I feel.
I feel:
- not at all pregnant, but I wouldn't either way.
- hopeful.
- scared, mostly about feeling sad if I am not pregnant.
- tired. (Chris and I stayed up too late last night playing a dorky game with friends. It was worth it though, when I pulled out an 11th hour victory.)
- frustrated, mostly with Ada's current attempts to wrestle control over everything via tantrum. Today her burrito was "broken" (I argued that in order to eat the thing, you have to break it by biting it. After one bite, the thing is broken, right?). Other complaints: the burrito contained beans. The burrito was too hot to hold. She was not allowed to sit on my lap and scream in my ear. (NB: that Dr. Karp thing seems to be helping. Once I said: it is too hot! it is too hot! it is broken! she mellowed out some.)
- excited that a project I am working on for my job is almost ready to go live.
- nervous that a project I am working on for my job is almost ready to go live. (how do you professional web-folk not go crazy with perfecting these things?)
- thrilled that my sister got a fly-back for a job that she thought had passed her by.
- patient. For once I am able to let thoughts about the future flit through my mind, note that they are there and let them go out again. All the "what if" questions can wait a week.
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i am glad to hear that you are fine. sounds like you are managing quite well. i keep meaning to email you and then forget when i am actually on my computer. personally, i am a hormonal whack job at the moment but fine as well. let's talk soon!
ReplyDeleteYou sound remarkably patient!
ReplyDeleteI am fine, except for the freaking out about losing my boss. I know that'll be OK in the end, though.
Thanks for updating. I never ask Chris, because I'm not sure what to ask. But we are thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteMe? Frustrated with work, but happy to be at home with both cats on my lap (for as long as they'll both fit and not bite each other.)
I'm fine, and I'm rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteThat is so not dorky! Ever played Carcasonne or any of its spin-offs?
ReplyDeleteHoping for the best!
You know, I hated that time period between being implanted and finding out if it worked or not......being implanted sounds funny...it sounds like you are a rose bush and your are being implanted into a garden.....good times. Well, if you need something to keep your mind occupied here is a website that is pretty funny: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word Try it, you'll like it!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing so well...
ReplyDeleteI am a little jealous about the dorky game--we love Settlers although last night was fun playing poker with friends even though it was more of a contribution on my part. I figure if you keep losing then at least people will invite you back if only for the money. So sorry about the broken burrito--I feel your pain on that one and the popcicle, banana, cracker, etc.
oh, oh...glad to hear your balance.
ReplyDeletethinking of you.
oh, and i am good enough. not a stellar few days here, but oh well.
being as how i'm not hardly reading any of my beloved bloggy friends these days, i was so happy to stop by tonight, to check and see how you were doing, and find you telling me how you were doing! thanks for reading my mind since i've been such a poor communicator lately.
ReplyDeleteyou're in my thoughts. wishing you normalcy and good luck.
and good luck with the web launch. it's agonizing the first fifty times. then you learn to let go.
I've started this comment four times, because whatever I type seems so trite and sappy I delete it. I'm trying to say that I'm hoping you're pregnant with all my heart.
ReplyDeleteThere. Jeez, why was that so hard?
Hopeful for you. Thanks for the update.
ReplyDeleteWe're ok -- just relay of sick kids. I have actually been up since 3:30am ; apologize if this ain't quite lucid.
ooJust read the post. I want to say no. no. no.
ReplyDeleteMy heart out to you. I am sorry my dear sweet 1/0 friend in the ether. The world deserves more NL mamalove than this end seems to allow.
Forgive me if I've said too much. But I had to say something. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox