Monday, July 30, 2007

Ok, you were right. Are you happy now?

Last year, I was intrigued by Blogher, but I felt myself too new, too little in the blogging world to merit the trip. When I read posts by attendees, I felt kind of left out, along with that teen kind of "I'm a big loser" angst I felt when I was a teen, watching my (significantly hipper and more popular) neighbor go out on Friday night. I felt kind of low for a few days, which seemed ridiculous given that this was a blogging conference we were talking about.

This year I didn't think I was unworthy of attending. I am (mostly) over the feeling that a small personal blog is not a "real" blog. I didn't go because when push came to shove I couldn't bring myself to give myself such an extravagant gift. The conference, the flight, the time away from work and family, all for a blogging conference?

Not that I didn't want to go. I did. And that was before Debbie started harassing er encouraging me to go with her. And fine, I should have gone. I could have even stayed for free with a friend in Chicago. But I didn't and I've been gently kicking myself about it all weekend. Because what if Blogher is so over next year? What if I missed a chance to do something fun for myself? I am not so good at "fun for myself." Hence the difficulty spending money on something so frivolous as a convention for a hobby. OK fine, I should have. And if I can next year, I will. Maybe my new mid year's resolution should be "allow more fun for myself."*

*It is both my hope and fear that people I know in real life will read this, and 10 months from now will hold me to my declaration, as wishy washy as it is.


  1. hi. friend IRL/blog-realm checking in to keep you to your commitment as stated in this post.

    also, Izzy's rounding up people to do a mid-year non-blogher-specific blogger meet-up. let her know you're down widit. we could travel together.


    (now, how's *that* for pushy?)


  2. I only didn't go cuz you weren't going! (though I told missy pushy pants it was the $1000 airfare)

  3. Somehow I missed two weeks worth of posts... which is why I am chiming in late here. But I recently had a revelation re spending money on a hobby--it suddenly occurred to me that hey, blogging is pretty much free (if you want it to be), but almost any other hobby you do spend money on. Duh, I know. But it felt freeing.