Back To Square One

When Ada was about 4 months old, we let her "cry it out". The decision to go this route was easy. The week before we started found us with Ada wailing while we held her in our arms, for up to two hours, before she finally fell asleep. The idea of letting her cry for up to an hour while not in our arms? Sounded better than what we'd been doing. We had held her while she cried to the no longer soothing sounds of the kitchen exhaust fan, running water, a radio tuned to static.

All this crying was because my breasts had lost their powers. As colic-y as Ada had been in her first few months, we'd found some solace in the fact that a nice long nursing session before bed sent her off to dreamland, so long as I could quickly and quietly moved her from boob to bed. When this trick stopped working, we were all devastated. The aforementioned marathon crying-in-arms sessions ensued. So you can see why the decision to try cry it out was easy for us. After a few days in which she never cried more than 45 minutes, Ada fell asleep with ease. We were all thrilled, not least of all Ada.

In between naps, Ada ponders that eternal question: Snack or Toy?

That was months ago, you may say. Why are you bothering us with these details now? Well, over the 9 months since we let her first try the cry, we've slipped a bit. There were always reasons: she was sick; she was teething; we were staying in an unfamiliar place and she needed extra help getting to bed. She's noticed the slip, and taken full advantage. It may seem unfair to suggest that Ada is doing anything to prolong the night-time rituals, but now that she's talking and signing she makes it very clear that she wants to nurse longer. When I put her in her bed, she sits up, signs "more" and points at the rocking chair. And with the colds and teething, we've held her, rocked her, given her more milk, and generality done whatever we had to get her to fall asleep in our arms.

Now Ada is almost 13 months old. On Monday night we tried for 2 hours to get her to sleep. When we finally gave up and let her cry, she cried on and off for a half hour. That night we agreed to reinstate the policy that it is alright for our child to cry before bed. She may have heard us, because tonight I nursed her and then picked her up and placed her in bed. She turned over, mumbled something about how I didn't need to hang out, and was out.

The cheerio-fueled girl showing the skills that will one day serve her well on the basketball court.