Monday, June 26, 2006

Not actually any stories about traveling

Just back from beautiful, beautiful Colorado, with much on my mind. Hopefully given a few days I will get to issues such as:

  • How one horrible mother-of-the-groom dress strengthened my resolve to never live in Nebraska;

  • Where I will build my house in Nowhere, Colorado when I win the lottery (I can say it will be as near as possible to the Mountain of the Jewish Middle-Aged Lesbians);

  • Why bartenders at weddings flirt shamelessly with all the women and 34% of the men;

  • Why crappy-tasting cupcakes make better props for wedding photos than they do a substitute for actual wedding cake*;

  • No, I hadn't been drinking, why do you ask?

  • How annoying it is to fly with a sick child, how wonderful it is to do so with the help of friends and the very nice woman in 14E who kindly lied to you by telling you that your child had been a doll during the flight, and how glad I am that said child didn't fall ill until the morning we were leaving for home;

  • How shamelessly I abused my position as honorary Second Wife during this trip with my dear friends (I confiscated Honored Travel-Husband's keys to insure there was no repeat of a Thanksgiving 2002 airport mishap, and well, let's just say that Wife Number One coined the phrase poliga-nagging);

These and other important issues will be discussed when I get around to it. Tomorrow is Ada's birthday, my mom arrives for a visit, and we have to whip the house into shape before the ants completely take over. (Did you know that ants don't like Windex? I do now.)

*Oh, how I am dying to post all the wedding cupcake photos. As they feature my friends and relatives, some of whom do not know I blog, I'm thinking about ways to gain the permission of the guilty parties. Speaking of which: E & J, how 'bout it?

Miss Rock-Taster/Shmutz-Shmearer implores:

Please Nu-Nu, say yes! If you don't I will be forced to eat more dirt.


  1. Wow, I can't wait to get you that drunk. You look way fun drunk (you're way fun when you're not drunk! but, there's no sexy red dress or arm thrusting into the air motions...)

    Happy Birthday, Mama! Oh, and happy birthday to Ada, too. Hooray for one!

  2. Ahahaha. Wedding cupcakes? Is that how they do it in Colorado?

  3. Happy Birthday to Ada! This is a great week for b-days :)

    Are b-day cupcakes allowed? That's what Madeline is getting on Thursday. I think they're yummier than your average wedding cake - at least the one I'm making!

  4. Cupcakes are perfect for birthdays (child or adult). I think the couple thought it was cute to have cupcakes in lieu of cake. It would have been better if the cupcakes had been good. (Like Super Sugar Star's!)