Thursday, March 09, 2006

Titles for baby books I'll never write

Don't Dance In Your Poop, And Other Advice for Infants

Chew This Book!

The Runaway Carrot

Eat 'Til You Choke, Laugh 'Til You Barf

Diapers Are For Suckers

Every Sign Your Mother Taught You is Wrong (the book THEY are glad you can't read)

Diary of a Pear-Faced Girl

Kiss Kiss, Burp Burp: An Infant's Guide to the Movies
(apologies to Pauline Kael)


  1. those beg to be written girl.

  2. hi, hi. i'm right behind dutch in line with my crispy $20s to buy the full nonlinear library of good readin'

    hysterical. have a great week!

  3. These are wonderful! Especially love the Abbie Hoffman reference. I'm always writing lists like this, mostly because I so enjoy getting rejection letters from mcsweeney's. Hey--send yours in. We can compare rejection letters.

    Thanks for coming by my blog and pointing the way back here. I'm a big fan of policy wonks.