Honestly now

Dad Who Writes tagged me for a meme. The rules are: post 10 honest things about yourself and tag 7 people to do the same. Annoyingly, DWW would definitely be one of the people I would ask to do this, if he hadn't just asked me.

And now for some honest things: 

1. I am simultaneously thrilled and horrified to get tagged for any meme, no matter how interesting or inane it is. I am thrilled because the inner pathetic teenager in me cares a lot about things like comments and hits and whether people like my blog enough to tag me for memes. I am horrified because I fear that I will tag people, only to have them ignore me or loudly refuse to participate. (Again, thanks inner teen!) The upshot is that I worry more about what people think of me than I would like to believe about myself.
2. I was pleasantly surprised when Ada told me I am lucky, and when I asked her why she thinks that, she said: "because you have three kids." I am glad she sees this as a good thing. 
3. One of the reasons I don't want to give up breastfeeding is that when I stop I may have to start real exercise again (beyond daily walks) and won't be able to eat as much. While it is true that I will be able to drink more, I don't drink so much that this seems like a good trade-off. Plus, alcohol is fattening, leading to the need for more exercise.
   
4. I often tell one of two close friends what is bothering me before I tell Chris. This is especially true when I am annoyed at Chris. This helps me a lot, because by the time I tell him what is going on I have thought about it more and am less likely to get irrationally angry. My many years with Chris have taught me that irrational expressions of emotion don't lead to meaningful dialog with him.
   
5. I was recently very embarrassed that a coworker I really respect knew what a slip-shod job I did keeping track of documents for a grant I worked on a couple of years ago. This coworker very kindly made it clear that it was no big deal, but I still felt horrified that she would see what a slacker I'd been.
6. I sometimes think I chose the wrong profession, not because I do not enjoy or care about what I do, but because I know I will never make much money. Especially with additional mouths to feed and bottoms to clothe, this worries me. 
7. I am an intellectual, but I am lazy about it. 
8. I get totally sucked into a game and then play it all the time for a few weeks before getting bored. Right now I am obsessed with the Boggle-like Scramble on Facebook. Both my sister and Chris are kicking my ass, high-score wise. I have beaten Chris in head-to-head games, however. 
9. I wish there was a way to explain to a four-year old that when she is crazily needy, I want to withdraw. I know there is no way for her to understand this, but it does not stop me from wishing. I feel like a shitty parent for wanting her to back off a little. I love her loving me, but sometimes it is so exhausting to be needed all the time. 
10. Ada is exploring the idea that she could be something or someone else. When she says she wishes she was Lila or Avery, it makes me wonder who I would like to be. For all my complaining, I am not sure I would really want to be someone else. I have barely figured out how to be me without having to learn someone new.
    

And now, a quick ridiculous picture of Mira:

What?

Tagging. Oy. Okay, here goes:

Magpie Musing, because she will certainly write something interesting
Mayberry Mom, who wrote very honestly about her (hopefully finished) hard year
Cartoon Goddess, because she comes up with great visuals for what is in her head
Mad.Momma, the kindest, most generous almost-stranger I know
Planet Nomad, whose posts from abroad are so interesting, even the mundane details
Lumpyhead's Mom, since she can post pictures of stuff on her son's head
Heathen Family Revival, because I love her blog title and her photography skills